TEAM

It is so important to have a team atmosphere when it comes to the kids and the parents. It is even more important for the kids to hear and know that the mom and step-dad are on the same team. Although the kids do not want you to take their place, they do need you to be as close as they are with their mom. How does that work????

Simple, time spent with their mom outside of their hours with her. Mold your schedule to be with her when the kids are doing homework, napping, sleeping, at school, or playing outside. It may be 15 minutes, but a necessary 15 minutes. Remember, you came in late. You are the one needing to make sure you and their mom are fueling the flame of love you have without taking the kids place.

I have said before in my blogs that you need to have a special thing with each kid. That is a vital part of cultivating a relationshop with each one on a their personal level. For that same reason you need to make sure you are not negleting their mom as well. The biggest thing that will help the kids is a set schedule. So schedule in time for each kid and their mom. Stick to it and make sure that you can follow through. If you miss it, you may as well pack it up and quit. To them it as if you lied to them and you will not be able to have thier trust.

Isn't it funny that the things that everyone knows and anyone can do are the same things that kids need? Good dads are seperated by the tellers and the doers. DO, don't TELL!

Single moms make sure you act slow in picking a new husband and father of your kids. Change your criteria that made you pick their other dad. THINK and MOVE SLOW! The kids deserve it. Step-dads watch Jerry McGuire and DO NOT become him! Sounds dumb, but I am serious. It is impossible to become a dad if you do not have a DEEP love for their mom AND them! But there is hope. It can be done with love and effort.